


Shadow Revelations

by Nelja-in-English (Nelja)



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bad Ending, Canon Asexual Character, Do Not Archive (The Magnus Archives), Dubious Consent, Internalized Acephobia, M/M, Mind Rape, Pining, Season/Series 03, Smut, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:00:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22532866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nelja/pseuds/Nelja-in-English
Summary: Just before the Unknowing, Elias summons Jon in his office. Martin is already here. They should talk about a few things, Elias thinks.
Relationships: Elias Bouchard/Jonathan Sims, Martin Blackwood/Elias Bouchard, Martin Blackwood/Elias Bouchard/Jonathan Sims, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Comments: 22
Kudos: 118
Collections: The Magnus Archives Rare Pairs 2020





	Shadow Revelations

**Author's Note:**

  * For [j_quadrifrons](https://archiveofourown.org/users/j_quadrifrons/gifts).



"It must be about the Unknowing," Jon thinks, trying to calm himself. Elias summoning him into his office can only be about that. The end of the world is too close to talk about anything else - about how much of Jon is still human.

Though if it's only with him... maybe it is about that. About the dreams and the hunger, and the fact he needs statements to stay alive, but seems no longer to need eating and drinking.

He hates where he stands with Elias - he doesn't trust him, he can't compel him, but he's always thirsty for the tiniest bit of information he's willing to offer him.

When he enters the room, the first thing he sees is Martin, already seated in one of the chairs in front of Elias. Jon is surprised - maybe a bit disappointed - and awkward. He's listened to all the tapes. Of course gossip is not a reliable source of information - Tim used to gossip about Jon and Basira, for god’s sake! But Jon really wonders if it was true, if Martin feels this way about him. It's weird and inconceivable. And from another standpoint, it makes complete sense. Jon doesn't dare to ask, especially as they have such important things to do, like stopping the end of the world.

"We were only waiting for you, Jon," Elias says. Jon knows he doesn't fault him for being late, they're past this and Elias is a monster anyway. It doesn't sting, but he remembers that it would have, once.

"What is this about?" Jon asks.

"Martin has some things to say about you," Elias answers. Jon's heart skips a beat, because he's stupid and stressed.

"I don't!" Martin protests, and Jon shivers like cold water was dripping on him. This is bad. He is only seeing Martin's back, but his voice feels strained, close to breaking.

"Elias!" Jon starts. "Stop this. I couldn't protect Melanie, but you can't touch Martin while I'm here..."

Elias smiles to him. It's bright and Jon knows it's false, but Elias is so good at smiling. "It's not about touching, not now. And I'm doing this for you, Jon. You want Martin's statement."

"I won't ask him anything he doesn't want to give," Jon answers firmly. He wishes he could see Martin's face right now. He wishes he could know how he feels.

He gets closer, on the level of the other chair, though he doesn't sit. He casts a glance at Martin's face. He looks defiant; Jon is proud of him. But his hands are gripping Elias' desk and his knuckles are white.

"I will," Elias answers. 

"Stop!" Jon shouts. Elias looks at Jon, smiles wider, but he doesn't stop. Why would he?

"Statement of Martin Blackwood, regarding his feelings for the Archivist. Statement never given."

"Please don't!" Martin begs. "What do... what do you want me to do instead?"

Elias ignores him, keeps talking. "It wasn't love at first sight. But the way Jon was scolding me, it was a bit hot? Not only that, it made all the times he wasn't meaningful. Because he wasn't afraid to tell me when I was a failure. I wish he had been the standard type of hot, actually. Maybe I would have been able to stop myself. But as Tim was being so disdainful about his looks, I couldn't convince myself that I didn't stand a chance. I wanted to be the only one to love him. And here I was, desperately wanting Jon to notice me, to look at me."

It's what Elias did to Daisy, of course. Jon listened to that tape too.

"Jon, it's not... he's putting it the worst way, I promise you," Martin says, and tears well in his eyes. Jon can see them very clearly.

He knows that he shouldn't stay here. If he fled away now, he would leave Martin alone with a monster, but he also wouldn't listen to the confession that he's not meant to hear. Or, he thinks, in panic, maybe he could hit Elias with a chair. It would do the job. Maybe.

He doesn’t. He keeps listening.

Elias' voice is becoming almost soft as he continues, Martin's intonations blending in. "I was overjoyed when he offered me a bed, and of course it was because I felt safe, but also because I could imagine he liked me. I didn't think it was true, of course, but when I was half-asleep, I could daydream that he came to me and kissed me and promised to keep me safe. That I was curling against the wall to make room for him, that his hands were touching me all over, and as I was dreaming, I was touching myself, imagining it was his hand. I came in his bed and I tried not to soil the sheets, of course, but I imagined that my lust had marked them more deeply, that he would feel it when he came back."

"Jon, I wasn't thinking any of this," Martin protests. "Not this way. I didn't know I was thinking it." Jon is still looking at his tears as he listens to Martin's hopes as Jon was accepting tea and sandwiches from him, confessing the time he kissed the teacup and imagined Jon would drink from that spot. Jon is listening to Martin's certitude that Jon had killed no one, but also that if Jon actually killed someone he would still lie for him. 

Jon could stop it, stop the tears. Could he? Could he stop Elias? Could he kiss them away? Which one would be the easiest?

"Elias said Jon was no longer human. I think it's true. I don't mind. I kind of like it. It's not because I think no one else will want him - not really, though I have sometimes fantasized about this too. But if he has powers, maybe he will be a little bit safer when he meets other monsters. And also, it's so hot. I would want him to use them on me. I don't care that it would hurt. It would, if it's anything like what you're doing to me. But it's not the same if it's Jon. Him looking at me - it already does things to me. Is it supernatural, or am I imagining it? I have no idea. But I feel more real under his gaze. Right now, I want to kneel for him. I want to suck his cock and please him. I want to devote myself to him and have him watch me forever. I didn't even ask him to leave because I know he will find out anyway, he will listen to all the tapes even if he doesn't want to, so of course it's better to expose my secret shame now, while I can still feel his eyes on me, opening me up."

Jon is still watching - of course he is. He is just this now, a thing that looks and doesn't understand and will remember forever that Martin's face is red and the bulge of his hard cock is visible under both his trousers and his underwear. It's not only the Eye that paralyzes him so, that prevents him from leaving or stopping this. It's his own shame in intervening when he's so directly involved. Could he stop Elias if Martin wanted someone else? How pointless is this question, because Martin wants _him_ , in a way that Jon can and will never give.

He should hug Martin now, as he's silently sobbing. He can't even imagine holding his hand. It would be read like a promise he can never keep.

"Was it instructive?" Elias asks Jon. "Don't pretend you didn't wonder."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I'm weary of seeing you wondering about such trivial matters. You can go back to important plans now, can't you?"

"Martin," Jon says, tripping over each word. He almost asks _what do you want_ , fears a shameful repeat of what just happened. "Is there anything I can do for you now?"

"No," Martin answers, "nothing." Jon tried not to compel him but it's probably true. 

"I know there's more you want to know," Elias tells Jon, and stands up. He turns around his desk, and stands in front of Martin, who tries to recoil, and ends just seated a bit deeper in his chair. "I will show you."

And then he kneels in front of Martin, who lets out a small cry.

"Martin, you could tell me you don't want this, but it would be a lie," says Elias cheerfully. "Let's show Jon what he's missing, won't we?"

The worst thing is that Jon is actually still watching, when Elias opens Martin's trousers and lowers his underwear. It's disgusting. He _needs_ to experience every second of it, the view and the sounds and the smells, the shape of Martin's cock and Elias' cheeks hollowing around it, the small moans Martin can't hold back when Elias is scratching his thighs.

It ends fast, Martin breathing too rapidly, lost in shameful pleasure, and Elias eagerly swallowing. Jon can see his Adam's apple bobbing. It's so wrong, looking at this, but it fills a deep, guilty hole inside Jon. Maybe he could understand why sex is deemed so interesting, when he doesn't need to touch someone or be touched.

"I think everything went well," Elias says, so confident and clean. There's not a crease on the knees of his trousers. "You might still have questions, Jon, but now they are interesting ones. Like why you couldn’t stop me. Or if you really wanted it.”

"Stop this bullshit, Elias." Martin says, very softly but more than Jon was capable of.

Elias doesn't turn towards him, but Jon can still see he's surprised. When will he stop seeing every one of the smallest moves of his eyes, his arteries beating? 

"I'm desperate but I'm not stupid. You have nothing to teach Jon. You just want him as much as I do. You're a coward using my words instead of yours. Using my cock in front of his eyes, instead of his. You're as pathetic as I am, and I hate that I can understand it so clearly."

And then he stands up and storms off, leaving Jon too startled to even think about following him, talking to him. What can he say now? _I’m sorry_ and _Take care of yourself_ and _I like you but not enough to let you suck my cock_ and _It was weird but I’m worse, you know I’m worse and don’t deserve your affection, right? You know what I felt looking at you?_

"It's probably your turn to yell at me, Jon," Elias says, turning to him. He looks so smug, probably rightly so. He played Jon so easily. Jon was unable to do anything when it really mattered. So what purpose could it serve now?

"I think Martin was right, you'd enjoy it too much," Jon answers. The words are hard to say, but he can see Elias frown at them, and it makes him feel a bit better.

Though maybe if he'd done it it would have made him feel a bit less alone and empty.


End file.
